Things we learn from tv

I was eating dinner at 1am today while my mum watched some hk serial on doctors.
I caught 15min, and spent 14min of it laughing madly to myself..

Scene 1:
Pregnant patient talking on phone along hospital corridor.
suddenly clutched her tummy and sank to the floor in pain "ARRGH! My tummy pain!"
A chio doctor walked calmly up to her and says, "DON'T WORRY! It's most probably just a miscarriage!"
Next thing you know, the patient is in ot undergoing a crash caesar. The anesthetist persistently and repeatedly announced her vitals at 1 second intervals, "her bp is now 103/70! It's now 95/60......" while the OG guy who's the only one at the table, made 1 cut and said, "i see the head. Suction!"

The scene then cuts to a Neonatologist auscultating a healthy, pink 1-2 mth old baby(presumably judging from its size) stuffed into the neonatal inbubator. It was a terribly tight squeeze for the baby. The doctor then explained to the mother (same pt from just now) that because the baby is prematurely born before SEVEN MONTHS (whoa! 28weeker?!!) the organs are all underdeveloped, including the heart which is why the baby has irregular heart rhythm and needs cardiac surgery (P, can u explain how this is so??? I so confused).

Next scene: the mother stood tearfully at the window staring at her baby and suddenly the bells go off and we see closeup on the monitor HR 175 flashing wildly (hmmm isn't that normal for a neonate?) and hang on a sec, is that tombstone ST ELEVATIONS i see on the cardiac monitor?? OMG this baby is having a heart attack!!
The nurse then auscultated the baby and sent the baby for emergency surgery.

Scene 2:
Two doctors on their off day very suay-ly saw an unconscious young boy lying prone in a stairway. Doctor 1, at the head of the patient, used 1 finger to feel a spot under the ear, said, "the pt is still breathing."
Doctor 2, caressed the pt's left buttock, and pronounced, "no fractures!"

Next scene, in resus room, boy still unconscious but supine now. 2 nurses pounced on his legs and said, "no fractures!" (they seem to be really obsessed abt fractures)
The ER PAed specialist immediately flopped the patient over on his tummy and did a PR! (I was shocked speechless here) Got fresh blood on glove. He then asked for a proctoscope, and the nurse slapped a ginormous metal proctoscope (ouch) into his hand and very professionally squeezed gel onto it (i have no idea why this is the only part they got right). He then shove the whole thing into the patient and without removing the probe or using a light, diagnosed the patient as having anal tears secondary to sexual assault. (Best lor! You win already)


I read this article abt how a study in the US claimed that medical students are cultivating bad habits from watching medical dramas on tv.. The commonest mistake being shocking a asystole rhythm. It's scary the number of times u see that happening on tv. everytime i see teh defib machine while in a shopping centre, i give an invlountary shudder of fear at the thought of how just anybody can have access to it.

There are also some other 'interesting' ways to revive collapsed patients.
I saw the 'Nipple Twist' (darn hilarious.. Foreman doing it to HOuse) and also many versions of the precordial thump. One version i remember to this day was in ER, when the team was doing CPR on a patient with no avail, WHILE 2 repairmen were fixing the ceiling RIGHT next to the patient. So naturally, the ceiling collapsed onto the patient, there was a moment of shocked silence while waiting for the cloud of dust to settle, and hey presto! Sinus rhythm obtained!!