My family doctor

My family doctor is one bizarre character.

For one, he has the neatest and prettiest handwriting ever, that fact alone is enough to make him stand out in the doctor community. He writes down everything I say slooowwwly and meticulously such that there are awkward silences where I have to wait for him to finish writing before I go on to describe my next symptom.

He brings the phrase ‘good bedside manner’ to a whole new dimension. I bet he (unlike me) attended every single one of his PDP and HRM lectures and tutorials, yes even those art of listening ones. When you walk into his clinic, he’d first greet you sincerely like he’s really happy to see you and then engage you in a few minutes of small talk. When that’s done, he would look into your eyes, smile benevolently and then ask in his oh-so-gentle voice how he could help you. Yup, his voice is even more gentle than mine (though that’s not saying a lot), in fact his whole demeanor makes you think that he, well, has rather different tendencies from other men; actually, that’s what my dad thinks and likes to gossip about. (Disclaimer: The former sentence does not represent the opinion of this blogger)

Anyway, let’s get back to his fantastic PDP skills. When he listens to my lungs, he THANKS me after EVERY BREATH I take. All these years I’ve always wondered why he didn’t accuse me of having tachypnoea since I had to literally hyperventilate to prevent myself from laughing hysterically. If you guys are not giggling by now, you should hear about how he gives injections. He kept APOLOGIZING profusely and dramatically, as if he’s inflicting some unspeakable torture on me. Imagine this. “Sorreeee, sorreee� jab needle in “SOrreeee, SOrreee� push syringe abit “SORREE� push syringe abit more.

*shakes head* I suppose we can all learn to be more patient in this age of malpractice and lawsuits. Dr. XX, I applaud you your patience. One word of advice though, when your patient is already half-dead with a temperature of 39.1 degrees, DO NOT spend 10 minutes chatting with her father. I suppose my father enjoys the attention though, makes him feel like VIP. He and my uncles like to see Dr. XX then come back regaling everyone with stories of his funny antics.

If any of you wants comic relief while seeking medical care, approach me for his address.