Random post

As per tradition for the last 3 years or so, I always ALWAYS get alot of inspiration to blog in the few weeks leading up to the exam, so here I am again!

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Mugging for the Psych Test yesterday just confirms my conviction that I'm pathologically depressed.
DSM-IV criteria:
At least one of :a) low mood (check) Or b) anhedonia (no lei. I can definitely still feel the interest to watch alot of tv, read (non-medicine stuff of cos), talk on the phone, go shopping, blog surf, blog)
And four others of:
1) Loss of appetite (check: definitely reduced from buffet queen proportions) 2) psychomotor retardation (check) 3) low energy (check check check) 4) suicidal thoughts (check) 5) guilt (check check check check) 6) loss of confidence (check) 7) negative thinking (check: i'm going to fail i'm going to fail i'm going to fail) 8) insomnia (sadly no) or hypersomnia (check x 100)
For two weeks (for months liao, and I foresee it to last another month)

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Psychomed test is a joke. Just anyhow-ly humtum CBT for everything also can get correct.

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To get me through this trying time, I used to envision what a happy time I'd have in my post-MBBS holidays. Thinking abt visiting my favourite country, the country I fell in love with on my first trip there just 5min after getting off the tour bus, puts a smile on my face, and looking at pictures of the extensive research I've done just makes me so happy.
But now, somehow, this just doesn't motivate me anymore.
I found the need to escalate my own psychotherapy from the incentive type to the fear tactic type.

Now, I just envision myself failing.

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On another totally random note:

Him: Got alot of people propose on the Singapore Eye leh! Like quite romantic hor! Think I would have done that too.
Me, with a loud derisive snort: HUH?! But thats just so unoriginal!!!!
Him: (silence)
Me: And so is proposing on Eiffel Tower...... Suntec fountain of wealth....... romantic restaurants.......... (lists a few more examples)

To drive the nail in further,
Me: I would be SO unimpressed. (nods head with conviction)
Him: OK LOR!! How abt sky diving out of a SIA plane then I float to your window and show you a 'Marry Me!!' sign? Or deep sea diving in the Great Barrier Reef?
Me: YA.. then you can put the ring in one of those huge clams.. hahahaha