Melancholy

I miss.......

....the carefree year one days
....stepping into the LT first thing in the morning and seeing my dear friends huddled tog gossiping abt smth, and smiling at the sight and the knowledge that in just a few moments, I would be included in the conversation
....laughing loudly with the girls and then embarrassedly avoiding the gazes that came our way
....laughing at mark taylor's sardonic humour
....going for western breakfast at 11am, and laughing at P for confusing the poor uncle
....going to the medicine library to mug after school (at 11am!!!!) and doing various funny stuff when we're bored
....getting shushed by the grouchy THEN-year 5s in their dirty white coats, and me giving them sympathetic glances and thinking that they look very poor thing-ly haggard and stressed (SIGH!)
....going for our celebratory post-CA lunches every other saturday
....our various weirdly sporty (all gh's fault) og outings
....ponning some patho tutorials and crashing others with rm
....the excitement of donning the white coats for the first time (the excitement lasts all of five minutes, because after that you get too hot and uncomfortable to feel excited)
....our EUROPE TRIP
....the awkwardness of the first day in a new cg, and the joy of slowly getting to know one another
....telling the patients, "we're year 3 medical students... Still a long time before we graduate!"
....hearing the tutors say, "Have you done xx posting? No? ok then i'll tell you the answer."
....the last day of every posting, where your cg gets infected by the pseudo-holiday mood, and we go have a celebratory lunch and you know you can just slack the weekend away
....the electives


I was happy in the electives, enjoying carefree days, going for 2 hour long lunches in paeds, marvelling at the things we learn in neuro everyday, without the stress of end-of-posting tests...
And then suddenly, the holidays are here, and suddenly, Year 5 seems to be just around the corner.
Usually, the holidays, to me, mean a mad rush to meet up with as many groups of friends as often as possible, interspersed with intensive slacking, then going into the new school year smiling and re-energized.

But now, I'm just in a perpetual state of melancholy.