My not-so-successful secret recipes

After such a long absence from blogging, i suppose i would have lost most of my readers by now. So, finally, i can start bitching abt Catechol again.. Muahahaha...

i'm also making use of this fact by blogging abt my horrific cooking attempts, well, actually maybe i shouldn't say attempts because i think the end-products were quite good leh, it's just the cooking process that is horrific, and since Catechol only witnessed and consumed the end-product, i think he would be rather horrified if he were to see this entry.

Goal (aka menu): Extra creamy Mushroom soup, starter: pasta aglio olio, Main course: Steak marinated in garlic sauce, side dishes of sauteed greens in butter sauce and mashed potato, dessert: mango/butterpeacan/double cream & cookies ice-cream (err, my mum went crazy and bought 2 for 1 Swenson's ice-cream tubs)
As you can see, my motto is quantity and variety = & > quality.

Problem: severe lack of ingredients, this was probably due to the fact that i bought the ingredients purely based on my whim and fancy, before i consulted any recipes. And also because in my house, especially in the hols, raw, fresh foods are a rarity.

So anyway, i did a quick sweep of my kitchen: i found that i don't have fresh mushrooms, chilli, brocoli or carrots, potatoes, butter and chicken. What i do have is an excess of garlic and a pathetic scrap of margarine.

But, because i embody the spirit of our nation, ie., in a country with no raw materials, human resourcefulness is the most important, i think i still came up with a fairly decent meal.

Recipe:

Soy Garlic Steak
INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon and 1 teaspoon soy sauce
2 teaspoons distilled white vinegar
2 teaspoons ketchup
2 teaspoons crushed garlic
1/2 pound flank steak
DIRECTIONS
In a small bowl, mix vegetable oil, soy sauce, vinegar, ketchup, and crushed garlic. Place flank steak in a large resealable plastic bag. Pour the marinade over steak. Seal, and marinate in the refrigerator at least 3 hours.
Preheat grill for high heat.
Oil the grill grate. Place steaks on the grill, and discard marinade. Cook for 5 minutes per side, or to desired doneness.
WHAT I DID
What in the world is flank steak? Heck, i dun even know what's the name of the two tiny pieces of steak i bought. I can describe them though, then maybe you guys can shed some light on it. They're small, fairly round with well-circumscribed edges and rather thick, doesn't look like the T-bone in steak houses, more like those tiny steaks in fancy french cuisine. And obviously, i don't know how heavy they are, but i still followed the quantity in the recipe because i thought more is always better than less. I 'm not sure if my cooking oil is vegetable oil but it doesn't smell like peanut oil to me so i happily used it (i once made the mistake of baking a cake and substituting peanut oil for veg oil and the cake turned out very peanut-y indeed). I can't find any ketchup so i added a packet of mac's chilli sauce. But surprise surprise, i actually have white vinegar at home! It looked quite old and the label has almost dropped off, so i can't (and don't dare to) really search carefully for the expiry date. And because the only zip-lock bag in my home is reserved for putting my shampoo and other toiletries whenever i go overseas (don't look so shocked, of course i have the common sense not to use it!), i found a packet of sandwich bags (new one k) and stuffed the two steaks and marinade into one of them and tied a dead knot to make sure it's sealed.
Otherwise, i followed the recipe to a T. I also sauteed the greens (erm long beans) and some button mushrooms in margarine.
END-PRODUCT
Quite marvellous if i do say so myself. Actually, i was super amazed that the steak actually tasted garlic-y. The sides were goooooooood.

Note: I'm just easing you in. If you feel that it's already too much for you to handle then i suggest that you stop reading immediately. If not, continue reading in gross, disgusted fascination. (Abit like looking at a decomposed body, you are super disgusted by the sight but you just can't tear your eyes away from it)

Spaghetti Aglio Olio
Hmmm this is abit tough as there is a severe lack of ingredients so i decided to just kind of 'make-up' my own recipe. (now, boys and girls, the next time you hear me say this, just run far, far away).
INGREDIENTS (that i have)
garlic (loads), green pepper (one of my impulse buys that i mentioned was based on a whim), button mushrooms

However, i do know how to cook a perfect pot of spaghetti. First, you must use your biggest pot, then when the water is boiling, add ALOT of salt, this is because the pasta only absorbs 20% of the salt you add (whoa, impressive right). Add the spaghetti sticks and when the sticks have softened and forms an entwined curved structure, give it five whirls (yes, not four not six but five. Clockwise). After about five minutes, pick one strand up and taste it. The strand should be firm but not hard or soft. Drain the water and then add a liberal dash of olive oil to give a smooth finish to the pasta and also a delightful oily sheen. Okie, i have to admit, i met some trouble here as when i unearthed the bottle of very expensive extra-virgin oil i bought quite some time ago, i found that it was.. yes you guessed it... expired. In fact, i'm so embarrassed to write how expired it is, but just know that it is RATHER expired. Err... but it smells ok so i added some. After adding, i was suddenly seized by an intense guilt so i decided to eat a bowl of the oiled pasta. It was really good i must say. I got increasingly guilty(hungry), so i kinda stood there by the pot and ate bowl after bowl of pasta. Then at the last minute (after i finished cooking everything), some prawns and squids arrived and we just sort of threw everything tog (plus above ingredients) and stir fried everything. The end-product was pretty good.

Savoury Mushroom Soup
INGREDIENTS
0.2 red onion, minced
20 g butter
1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
235 ml milk
75 g frozen green peas
45 g sour cream
DIRECTIONS
In small saucepan saute onion in butter. Add soup, milk, and peas. Heat on medium-low until peas are soft. Add sour cream. Stir. When hot, serve. Add sour cream to thickness desired.
WHAT I DID
Erm, is red onion equals to those tiny purple local onions? Cos that's what i used. But in case it's not, i just used one clove. I used what remaining margarine i had and a can of Cambells Mushroom and Seafood soup. The milk was expiring that day so i used it quite liberally and instead of green peas i used button mushrooms (yes, i did realise that button mushrooms featured in all my dishes). Err... and because i don't exactly know the definition of sour cream, i used the sweet and sour dipping cream that came with my prawn fritters supper a few days ago. Aiyah (dun scream in disgust) i used a bit only lar, but the taste like no change leh.
END-PRODUCT
Quite sweet and weird so i added alot of salt and pepper. Blamed weird taste on mushroom and seafood combi instead of plain mushroom.

All in all, the dinner was quite nice leh... but the best part was the dessert. Heehee..
Also, i didn't get any complaints of stomachache, diarrhoea from Catechol the following day.

Post-note: Irony of ironies, i wrote this entry on the 27th and on the 28th i caught gastroenteritis from Catechol. Yes, this is the day of the wonderful lunch at P's house. Don't worry, P, your mum's curry is faultless. It's confirm Catechol as his whole extended family kena GE just a few days ago and he caught it too yesterday and today he shared mac's with me. Damn.