Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Doctors are poorer than you think

Sigh with all the career talks and all our tutors complaining abt doctors not being paid enough lately, I have been wondering dejectedly about my future. So far I have eliminated quite a number of specialties which I know are not for me and those that I like are really quite impossible to get in:

Anaesthesia: I love it here cos all the procedures are so fun. But I heard that the entry exams are so difficult that people end up sitting for and failing them for years.
Ophthalmology: Actually, I just love the lifestyle and the money.
ENT: I have a startling revelation abt myself this past two weeks. I found out that I absolutely love watching aural toilets (nothing disgusting, just cleaning of the ear canal. What do you mean that IS disgusting?) of impacted ear wax. I especially love those extremely impacted ones that you have to use this spear-like thing to smash it into smaller pieces.
Both ophthalmology and ENT accept THREE candidates a year. Yes, THREE! So the ophthalmologists and ENT surgeons you see now are really the crème de la crème de la crème.

People say that there are four specialties that are extremely popular. ROAD- Radiology, Ophthalmology, Anaesthesia, Dermatology because these set you on the ROAD to home. Erm, lame I know, but hey, that saying came from eons back. Radiology is definitely out because I WILL NOT spend six years of torture just to end up hiding in some basement looking at films. And derm… with my eczema, I really think not.

And now, even the supposed GPs with the good lives are no more. Sure the old GPs are still earning big bucks. I heard from a friend that his friend’s GP’s GP friend can afford to buy million dollar watches and is one of the very few people in the world who owns some very rare Superman comics. (yes, we medical students love to gossip abt things like that. And also abt a certain GP couple who have 8 kids. And abt how much those ortho surgeons earn. And also bitching abt those lawyers.) Nowadays, the young, new GPs who try to start their own clinics are closing down like nobody’s business. And it’s such a scary thought that while that strange chicken rice stall that never seem to have any business has been surviving for years, the nice GP who tided me through my chicken pox days is now gone. Kaput!
I suppose one can always sell out and go into business. A lot of doctors have been headhunted to become heads of pharmaceutical companies. One of my tutor’s friends is some bigshot in Yu yuen shang and according to what he said (bitterly), his friend is apparently rolling in it.

Well, I guess worse come to worse, I can always go to the Pathology department (they’re rumoured to be so desperate they would do anything to keep you.) I was joking with the guys the other day that if we were to fail the Patho exams we can always do this:

Me: Prof, I’m really interested in joining the Pathology department.
TeH M*ng *happy tears in his eyes*: Oh thank you! Thank you! Here just sign here…..
Me: But I’m afraid, Prof, that my results for Patho are not very good.
The M*ng: no problem no problem, here just let me know your matric number……….

Disclaimer: The above scenario came from our minds only. There is utterly not even a smidgen of truth in it.

I’m looking forward to the Patho posting cos I quite enjoyed all our forensic patho lectures, gross photos and all. Scarly I develop a love for cutting up dead bodies and staring at diseased cells hmmm…. But boy, will that go down well with my parents and relatives and any old folks that have anything to do with me. And what a joy of the party I would be, amusing them with my “oh and his brains were like tofu” stories.

I told my mum I’m going to the morgue next week and she told me to ask the spirits lurking there for forgiveness. I can’t fathom whether or not she was serious.

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