Ugh!

Maybe it’s because I just did my family medicine posting, maybe it’s because I spend less than one hour of my day at the hospital sitting (that worked out to about 8hours everyday of being on my feet), maybe it’s the 4 hour long ward rounds looking at ‘prawn’ after ‘prawn’ after ‘prawn’ not getting better, maybe it’s because I seem to be getting rejected by patients more so than in cgh, maybe it’s because of all the happenings lately I’m not in the best of moods, maybe it’s because I’m bloody stressed abt the test, maybe it’s because I can’t find patients to clerk and examine, maybe it’s because I can’t seem to find the rapport with the patients nowadays, I’m beginning to detest going to the wards more and more. Somehow looking at all these patients who look so sick and yet nothing seem to be able to make them better is making me jaded. One of my patients was actually on the verge of discharge and wham, today he’s down with MRSA, whom he caught from another patient in the ward. I felt awful for being partly responsible (probably) as one of the fomites.

It doesn’t help that my tutor happens to be a super busy consultant who keeps canceling our tutorials. So far, I’ve only had one tutorial with him after 5 days (the other group had 4 tutorials liao) and what did he do for this long-awaited tutorial? He went through the TECHNIQUE for abdo examination. Yet, he is just sooooooooo super nice that there is no way we can request for a change in tutor or critique his tutorials. Trust me we tried, but it’s very VERY hard. (Try telling Prof Lau that you think he should get someone else to teach us, or Prof Voon that his tutorials should be more factual.) If the guy in my group can’t do it, no one else can (you’ll understand when I tell you who he is).

I’m so stressed that I don’t think that I’ve ever been so hardworking abt wardwork. But I still think I’m going to fail.