My foul mouth

Today I watched the most unbelievable soccer match I’ve ever watched, ok admittedly I’ve only watched a few, but it really was too much. If any of you caught the Man U-Arsenal match just now, I imagine you’d be cursing and swearing and for those of you who placed bets, hitting your head against the wall right now.

All along I’ve sort of supported Arsenal for two reasons and simply these two reasons alone: a) I kind of like their name (I pronounce it as ARSE-senal). b) Liang is a hard-core die-hard Man U fan, ARSch rivals of ARSE-senal (sorry, couldn’t resist). So when I saw Liang buying Man U to win, I confidently told him that ARSE-senal would win, at the same time warning him that my predictions at soccer, however misguided they are, usually come true. Like that time during the world cup. For one of the matches, Liang told me to pick a team to win, and because I like orange, I picked Netherlands (their jersey is orange) and they really won. Sadly, Liang didn’t trust my unorthodox methods so he went by his years of soccer experience and expertise and lost money instead. And for the world cup finals, even though the whole world is placing bets on Portugal, I firmly believed that Greece would win. I think this belief is partly reinforced by the fact that the odds are so much higher for Greece so I bought for me and my friend and won us both some money. So anyway, Liang just scoffed at my prediction and wanted me to watch the match with him so that he could laugh at my crying face when Man U wins.

So after a Robot Zoo gathering, my ex-colleagues and I joined Liang and his friends to watch the match and also to play bridge. My ex-colleagues and I meet up regularly to play bridge non-stop, this is because we played bridge non-stop when we were supposed to be working last time so we got addicted to this habit. It was honestly the first time I’m watching ARSE-senal play and I was appalled with their foul play. It was so foul that they really remind me of ARSEs. But the strange thing is the referees seem terribly reluctant to issue out the cards.

Also, no matter how many attempts Man U made at scoring, the ball just wouldn’t go in. Countless times it was just slightly off-angle, or a missed pass, more than twice the ball struck the goalposts and many times it seemed almost as if the players themselves were avoiding a goal, purposely delaying a seemingly brainless kick, thus missing the golden opportunity. And once, the entire half-field was clear and it was just him and the goalie, and still the goalie managed to deflect the ball, simply by running forward and kicking it away from him. Unbelievable. In Liang’s words: “There seem to be an invisible force around the blue mouth, the ball just couldn’t go in.�

So anyway, the game dragged on into penalty kicks and ARSE-senal won. This was when I began to feel afraid, very afraid. My mouth is lagi foul! What if I accidentally curse someone to his grave?!

Friends, please be nice to me, this is for your own safety.